That could be us

 They are going to vilify her.
 I would have vilified her.

Last night our community was rocked by the realization that even the strongest among us can fall. Not just fall to the ground, but crumble, to the deepest darkest depths. Last night an autism mother tried to kill herself and her daughter. A mother many of us have followed. I read her blog and felt a connection to her. She was going through the battle I am hoping not to fight.

She has been struggling to get help for her daughter. Issy is only 6 years older than my Cat. Issy had just completed another inpatient treatment program for her violent outbursts. They had a plan. They were making progress, until the school stepped in. 

I have never reached that dark place with my Cat. That place where I see no way out. That place where I truly feel death is the best option. But I haven't been fighting as long as Kelli and Issy have. I do not condone what she chose to do. I do not agree with the actions. I do ache for them. I do sympathize. I wonder what it must have taken to reach that place. And I realize that could be us.

How many of us have battled with the schools to get the services we know our children need? How many of us have advocated to get the schools to join the team, be on the same page, follow the plan?

Cat has violent outbursts at school. She throws chairs, hits other students, hurts herself. It is not a pretty picture.She has been suspended (without the school calling it that) for using foul language and being unsafe in her classroom.

ON THE FIRST DAY!!

School here has been in session for almost 3 weeks now. So about 11 days. Of those days Cat has been violent 7 days. The school has finally come on board and Cat now has in school support 5 days a week for about 4 hours a day. This is a huge step. 

This is the first time I have not hit a brick wall trying to get Cat some help. Whether it be ABA therapy (medicaid doesn't cover it here), the DD waiver, an IEP. It seems like every time I turn around I hit that brick wall. Every time I feel like I am getting traction, there's the wall.

But without further help, without a plan Cat could be Issy.

We all need to come together, fight together and fix the system. We need to stand strong and make sure that we have support in place. Even the strongest of us can fall, we need to be there to catch each other.