By now you all know how bad the Cat's last school was. How much I fought to even get her to recognize the diagnosis. How difficult it was every step of the way to get the PTB to provide the needed services. I finally got tired of it.
I could not keep fighting with them any more. I had nothing left. So I played my last card. I contacted the DLC and I contacted the Director of Special Ed for the Northeast Region of the ASD. I requested that a district rep be at the transition meeting I wanted to have before the Cat was discharged. The district complied. The DLC is investigating somethings that occurred and that will be another story.
In the mean time the school had scheduled an FBA (read this to see how it went). After that I was done. There was no way in hell that my child would go back to that school. It would happen over my dead body. I had tried so hard. I did everything that was asked of my (except for shutting up and going away). I came whenever I was called. I was always civil and friendly. I let them know if concerns I had prior to contacting someone with the district.
None of it worked. Every time I turned around I ran face first into a steel reinforced brick wall. Every time I thought things would get better again I found myself banging my head against that wall. The PTB just would not work WITH me.
So I told the district rep that I wanted another school. I listed out why I was not comfortable sending the Cat back to the school from hell. I had all my documentation. I had done my research, I knew my rights.But I still had to play nice. So when she asked how firm I was on I said I would see how the meeting went and decide then,
The meeting was a joke. Everything was postponed to another meeting. My concerns were heard but not acknowledged. Nothing was resolved except that the Cat was going to need a new school. I left that 2 hour meeting with no hope at all of things ever getting better. I was beaten.
The following day things got brighter. I met with the district rep to discuss the previous meeting and look at moving the Cat to another school. And I WON!! The Cat got a new school. I was elated.
Until reality set in. What makes me think that this school will be any better than the school from hell?? Its still a neighborhood school in the district... All programs in the district are the same right?? The first one did not work. Why would this one?? What makes this one better?
The people!!! THEY GET IT!!
The new school is the best district public school I could possibly hope for!!
THEY GET IT!!!
Everything I wanted for the Cat, they have. The PTB here are amazing. The teacher is understanding. They are going to meet the Cat where she is and help her to advance rather then expecting her to be where everyone else is. They get that this is a SPECTRUM disorder and so everyone is different and you need different techniques and strategies.
There are "safe places" in EVERY room in the building. Small tents with weighted blankets and soft pillows to go calm down. If she melts down I will be notified in daily communication but will not be called unless NOTHING else works. The schedule is set up with plenty of opportunities to move and take breaks from the academics.
They focus on life skills as well. There are times in the day to focus on social skills, fine motor skills, hygiene. They have recess and then come in for lunch and then have specials before going back to academics. They have everything visual. They use first then language. There are social stories for things, a spinner for calming techniques. The room is in centers. The day is broken up between large and small group times and individual work.
THEY GET IT!!!
They are open AND receptive to the AT's coming in to help support. There are clear defined roles for when the AT's will step in and when the teacher will handle things.
I will get daily communication. In a journal sheet from the Cat, and in a notebook from the teacher. So we can all look at the same data and information to look for patterns.They will communicate with me about what they are doing that is working and what is not. All things the school from hell would not do not matter how much I asked.
This place is all I could ever have dreamed of! I love it.
And it's all because I never gave up. I did not stop advocating and knowing that the Cat deserved better than she was getting.
You know your child, better than anyone else. Don't let the school or anyone else tell you different. You know what helps and what hurts. DON"T GIVE UP!! Keep going because it can and will get better. But keep fighting. I am here to listen and offer what suggestions I can if you need a shoulder. Just don't quit!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
Thursday, November 7, 2013
How to not write an FBA
Ok, so by now you all know that I had a meeting at the school on Tuesday that did not go well. It went very bad. In fact it was so bad that I walked out.
The PTB at the school felt that since all they were doing was gathering information they could continue without me... My feelings about that are a whole other post. Since they were continuing the wonderful CM from AK Child and Family stayed to take notes and let me know what happened.
The question most of you probably have is why I felt the need to walk out. What happened that made it get so bad?
The answer... Everything. From the paper they handed me of all the "data" that was collected, to the PTB total lack of respect toward me and the support team I brought with me (I learned a long time ago to never walk into a meeting alone). From the PTB constantly talking over me, to the very evident fact that the PTB were not going to add anything I wanted to the FBA.
I try very hard to work with these people. I do not want backlash for my Cat because of my actions during these meetings. Most of the time I succeed in finding common ground. Some place where we can all agree and go from there. Most of the time I can see the PTB point of view, or at least their side of things. I rarely agree with those, but I can at least find them.
That ability is one of my strengths. I can do that in almost any situation. It is one of the things that allows me to be such a powerful advocate for my Cat. I can come to the meetings calm, and use logic and research to make my points. I can see both sides of the argument. I don't let my emotions take over.
Tuesday, that was impossible. Everything I said was talked over or shot down. At one point the PTB actually told me flat out "I am not going to put in the plan that her AT's have had success de-escalating her. If I do that then you can come back and say that she needs these people in the school with her. I won't allow that."
Let's start at the beginning though. The sheet of "data" that I was handed concerning her meltdowns and the reason for the FBA was not data. I was told that the PTB had "lots of hard data and we will be able to make a plan that will help support the Cat better following her discharge." What they had was a 2 page sheet with anecdotal observations. There was nothing about what time of day the incidents occurred. No information about what was tried to de-escalate, or re-direct the behaviors. Nothing about how long each episode lasted or what behaviors were seen.
What was there was the number of incidents that happened during the 13 days she was in the class. What proceeded each incident. The number of times I was called to come pick her up. And general information about what the PTB considered a meltdown and duration of said meltdowns.
Next we were supposed to try and identify the functions of the behaviors. Well that is a little hard to without actual data so we all started brainstorming. And that is where the big problems came out.
The PTB brought up how the Cat wants to spend her recess interacting with the AT's or TA's as opposed to her peers. First off, YES! HELLO!! She has Asperger's. She struggles to interact with her peers. This is typical. Most of our kids are not very social and feel more comfortable interacting with adults. Also the Cat is in 3rd grade. The other students in her SCC are in 5th grade. So lunch and recess are had with the 4th and 5th graders. Meaning they are wanting my child who struggles socially with peers her own age to interact appropriately with children who are 1-3 years older than she is. Does anyone see the problem here?
I did. I also saw a obvious solution. Change her schedule so that she is having lunch and recess with the 3rd graders again. Apparently this was not a solution that fit with the plan the PTB had. I was told that we could discuss that at a later time. The issue was not when she was having recess but that she needs to interact less with the adults and more with her peers. WHA?????
OK, fine. Still trying to work with these people. I make a note of this and we move on to another topic.
Meds. I do not want to start a debate here. I chose to medicate the Cat and the meds are helping her. The PTB know that she is medicated. They put in the FBA one of the contributing factors to behaviors are med levels. I agree. TO A POINT. I do not want it in any document that the Cat's meds have to be at a certain level. I do want the Cat to think that her meds will solve things for her and that she doesn't have to learn to manage and cope with things without the meds. She will not be on meds for the rest of her life. I view her meds as a tool to help her be able to learn and practice coping skills.
The PTB again disagreed with me. I was told "The meds allow her to learn coping skills in a therapeutic setting. Which we don't have here." I was so angry at that comment. the coping skills need to be practiced and taught everywhere. Not just in therapeutic settings. Do these people even know anything about what they are talking about?
Wait, I still have to work with them. Deep breath. Make a note and move on.
To de-escalation. What works? Well the AT's have had success in calming her outside of school when give the chance to actually interact with the Cat. Let's make a note of that in the FBA. Nope. Sorry not relevant. Its not in a school setting. Here they have never been successful. (BULLSHIT!) Still trying to work with them. The teacher says she has talked the Cat "off the ledge" several times. Sometimes as many as 5 times a day. Great. What worked? What didn't? Oh I don't know. It was never consistent. There was never any consistency in what would set her off and what would calm her down. BULLSHIT!! you just didn't gather actual data for us to work with.
Again the AT's have been successful outside of school. Here are somethings that have worked with them. Can we make a note in the FBA about that? And then... The wonderful line from above. "I am not going to put in the plan that her AT's have had success de-escalating her. If I do that then you can come back and say that she needs these people in the school with her. I won't allow that."
How do you work with that? What should I have done? I explained since it was clear they were not willing to listen to me or work with me to write the FBA I was ending the meeting. We have another meeting on the 12th to discuss placement and programming with a rep from the district. I told them we could continue this discussion at that point and hopefully things would go better then.
The PTB at the school felt that since all they were doing was gathering information they could continue without me... My feelings about that are a whole other post. Since they were continuing the wonderful CM from AK Child and Family stayed to take notes and let me know what happened.
The question most of you probably have is why I felt the need to walk out. What happened that made it get so bad?
The answer... Everything. From the paper they handed me of all the "data" that was collected, to the PTB total lack of respect toward me and the support team I brought with me (I learned a long time ago to never walk into a meeting alone). From the PTB constantly talking over me, to the very evident fact that the PTB were not going to add anything I wanted to the FBA.
I try very hard to work with these people. I do not want backlash for my Cat because of my actions during these meetings. Most of the time I succeed in finding common ground. Some place where we can all agree and go from there. Most of the time I can see the PTB point of view, or at least their side of things. I rarely agree with those, but I can at least find them.
That ability is one of my strengths. I can do that in almost any situation. It is one of the things that allows me to be such a powerful advocate for my Cat. I can come to the meetings calm, and use logic and research to make my points. I can see both sides of the argument. I don't let my emotions take over.
Tuesday, that was impossible. Everything I said was talked over or shot down. At one point the PTB actually told me flat out "I am not going to put in the plan that her AT's have had success de-escalating her. If I do that then you can come back and say that she needs these people in the school with her. I won't allow that."
Let's start at the beginning though. The sheet of "data" that I was handed concerning her meltdowns and the reason for the FBA was not data. I was told that the PTB had "lots of hard data and we will be able to make a plan that will help support the Cat better following her discharge." What they had was a 2 page sheet with anecdotal observations. There was nothing about what time of day the incidents occurred. No information about what was tried to de-escalate, or re-direct the behaviors. Nothing about how long each episode lasted or what behaviors were seen.
What was there was the number of incidents that happened during the 13 days she was in the class. What proceeded each incident. The number of times I was called to come pick her up. And general information about what the PTB considered a meltdown and duration of said meltdowns.
Next we were supposed to try and identify the functions of the behaviors. Well that is a little hard to without actual data so we all started brainstorming. And that is where the big problems came out.
The PTB brought up how the Cat wants to spend her recess interacting with the AT's or TA's as opposed to her peers. First off, YES! HELLO!! She has Asperger's. She struggles to interact with her peers. This is typical. Most of our kids are not very social and feel more comfortable interacting with adults. Also the Cat is in 3rd grade. The other students in her SCC are in 5th grade. So lunch and recess are had with the 4th and 5th graders. Meaning they are wanting my child who struggles socially with peers her own age to interact appropriately with children who are 1-3 years older than she is. Does anyone see the problem here?
I did. I also saw a obvious solution. Change her schedule so that she is having lunch and recess with the 3rd graders again. Apparently this was not a solution that fit with the plan the PTB had. I was told that we could discuss that at a later time. The issue was not when she was having recess but that she needs to interact less with the adults and more with her peers. WHA?????
OK, fine. Still trying to work with these people. I make a note of this and we move on to another topic.
Meds. I do not want to start a debate here. I chose to medicate the Cat and the meds are helping her. The PTB know that she is medicated. They put in the FBA one of the contributing factors to behaviors are med levels. I agree. TO A POINT. I do not want it in any document that the Cat's meds have to be at a certain level. I do want the Cat to think that her meds will solve things for her and that she doesn't have to learn to manage and cope with things without the meds. She will not be on meds for the rest of her life. I view her meds as a tool to help her be able to learn and practice coping skills.
The PTB again disagreed with me. I was told "The meds allow her to learn coping skills in a therapeutic setting. Which we don't have here." I was so angry at that comment. the coping skills need to be practiced and taught everywhere. Not just in therapeutic settings. Do these people even know anything about what they are talking about?
Wait, I still have to work with them. Deep breath. Make a note and move on.
To de-escalation. What works? Well the AT's have had success in calming her outside of school when give the chance to actually interact with the Cat. Let's make a note of that in the FBA. Nope. Sorry not relevant. Its not in a school setting. Here they have never been successful. (BULLSHIT!) Still trying to work with them. The teacher says she has talked the Cat "off the ledge" several times. Sometimes as many as 5 times a day. Great. What worked? What didn't? Oh I don't know. It was never consistent. There was never any consistency in what would set her off and what would calm her down. BULLSHIT!! you just didn't gather actual data for us to work with.
Again the AT's have been successful outside of school. Here are somethings that have worked with them. Can we make a note in the FBA about that? And then... The wonderful line from above. "I am not going to put in the plan that her AT's have had success de-escalating her. If I do that then you can come back and say that she needs these people in the school with her. I won't allow that."
How do you work with that? What should I have done? I explained since it was clear they were not willing to listen to me or work with me to write the FBA I was ending the meeting. We have another meeting on the 12th to discuss placement and programming with a rep from the district. I told them we could continue this discussion at that point and hopefully things would go better then.
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